I suggest you read this story quickly, as you never know if it will be taken down. Because clearly our small community has stumbled upon some knowledge that someone somewhere doesn’t want the world to know. But I am sharing it with you because clearly someone out there wanted the word spread. Or something.
I’ll let you decide.
A few months ago, we received our local county newspaper. Now, some of you might recall some of the gems I found in the local small town newspaper we got while we were living in the RV. I still have a few of those papers. Some news is just too good to throw away (I’m looking at you opossum pie recipe).
Now, our new local paper rarely holds any sharable news like the Shelburne one did. But this time, the paper had us quite baffled. Scratching our heads even.
Because as we flipped through the paper, we noticed a small blurb that contained only one odd phrase.
Was it a typo? A joke? An odd attempt to fill space? A secret code? Or was someone on to some information that they felt necessary to spread along?
We shrugged it off with a giggle, until the next week.
Flipping through the pages, we found yet another cryptic message. This one with an elaboration.
Well this was all very odd. And starting to feel a bit “flat earthy.” So, we did some research.
And what we found was an entire website devoted to the theory that birds weren’t real. Except that this was created as a parody social movement to encourage people to be weary of misinformation. But why was it in a rural Vermont newspaper? Clearly, this was news of interest that we had no choice but to see where it took us.
The following week, we received our paper once more. And clearly we weren’t the only ones who noticed the strange memos. Because in the Letters to the Editor, someone wrote addressing the odd comment. They stated that, if birds weren’t in fact real, then would it be possible if whomever was in control to keep their birds from eating all their sunflower seeds.
Fair point.
And as we flipped farther, there was yet another message. This one felt a little more pointed.
Okay, well I did that. So where was this all going? Whatever the point of it was, it was certainly interesting.
Fast forward to the next week and now we were expecting a message. Clearly this was going to be a weekly thing and we needed to know what happened next. We were on pins and needles all week long in suspense.
What would it be sharing with us this week? Reading each page like we were perusing the pages of our favorite thriller, we looked for our prize. And there it was!
Everyone agreed that no, we had not, in fact, seen a baby pigeon!!
But then way back in that memory box in the back of my head that I save for useless information I want to bring back to light just to fill the silence in an awkward conversation, I remembered I HAD actually seen a baby pigeon once. When a pigeon decided to build a nest and hatch her eggs in the vent of my Seattle dorm apartment bathroom and then abandon them. And when we removed them from the vent, there were baby pigeons. However, this was a recovery mission and not a rescue. So I hadn’t actually seen LIVING baby pigeons.
Hmmmm…..
We couldn’t wait for the following week. What realization would they be sharing with us next? We were now flipping through the paper, passing up all actual news simply to find our new message.
And the paper did not disappoint. Because there, hidden away above Ida’s 95th birthday announcement was a new message.
Well now they were on to something! Why DO birds sit on power lines? Clearly it’s to recharge! Why did I never realize this??? It’s all making sense now! What could they possibly share with us next?
And share they did. The next week there was yet another message.
OH. MY. GOD. We were being watched. By birds! Or drones? Or secret undercover baby pigeon spies? At this point I wasn’t really sure but it didn’t matter. This was life changing news. I’d never be able to look at birds the same again! Nor could I let the next paper go without finding out my next secret decoder, er, birds aren’t real message.
But the next week, it was gone. I flipped through that paper 3 times. But there was no message. Nothing. And the following weeks held the same absence. No closure whatsoever.
Did they run out of points? Did they no longer have space because of the holidays? DId they get too many complaints? Or were we being shared information that people didn’t want us knowing. And the powers that be realized the leak and the operation was shut down!? But it was too late. The information was out! But what if no one but us actually reads the paper? What if we are the only ones who hold this information?
So I am sharing it with you. Take what you will out of it. But know this is powerful information that I am sharing with only you. If asked, clearly this was a creative way to get people to read the paper. And it worked. And we all know that birds are actually real…
…or ARE they?